Dear Higher Ed: I Hate That I Bought The Dream You Sold Me.

Dear Higher Ed,

I hope you don’t mind, but I’m writing this letter on my iPhone. I did not use my refund check to buy a MacBook this year. I’m trying to be financially responsible and I know you have no respect for my finances but surely, you can understand.

This is a difficult letter to write because I know how little you think of me. I want you to know that I’ve been faithful to you. I joined every organization that you said would liven your campus for recruitment purposes help me expand my network. I’ve been hoping that we could work this out but today I have finally arrived at my stop on the crazy train and I am determined to get off. Once and for all, I’m going to emotionally release and you, my friend, it is your turn to deal.

Ed, honestly, our first three and a half years together were ones for the books. We had magic, didn’t we? We traveled the world together, experienced so many mesmerizing cultures and you’ve taught me things about myself that allowed me to grow and for that I am forever indebted.

It was until this final chapter in our love story that I’d truly believed that what we have is my most valuable possession.

"Knowledge is the new money" they said.

"Get you some" they advised.

Well I offered my $90k+ degree to my landlord today and I’m hard pressed to figure out why he would not accept it as “new money”. I’m not saying you gave me nothing but Ed, honey, you did not give me enough of the right thing.


When I first started dating, I dated Howard University. I loved Howard. I realized it to be the kind of love affair that would tattoo my heart, some days with a sting of regret and others with warmth of memory. Howard and I produced a few gems together that I still discuss on my one night stands job interviews. But there came a time when Howard and I had given each other all that we were willing to give and we parted. I’d become somewhat of the miserable First Lady stereotype. You know, clinging to a broken home for the prestige that comes with a large hat, specialized parking spot and exclusive social invitations? The substance of our union had faded as my eyes wandered to a new love -public relations. I still speak to Howard from time to time but we will never again have what we had when we were younger.
I moved on to UA. UA had a little more to offer me. I often compared my new relationship to my past one which I am told is unfair. I will not say that one is better than the other. I needed them both to help me grow. But when I first moved in with UA, I could not leave my heart completely unguarded. I’d done that with Howard and I swore I could not give so much of myself away to anyone else again. We did not attend social events together, join new organizations together or bind ourselves to any new social circles. I know now that it was my mistake. If I was going to get into something new, I should have given it all of myself from day one but, Ed, you have to understand that there are limitations to my decision making skills at 22 and there were certainly more limitations at 20. UA and I went through a brief breakup in 2012 as I ran away to Spain. Do not judge me, I did it for us.

All the while, though there were others, Ed, I have really fallen for you. But as I’ve told you before there are things about you that I just cannot stomach and yes, I am talking about your advisors. I am sure that some of your advisors are phenomenal people but you must acknowledge that there are those who would cause any sane person to forego the selection of a singular “bad habit” and instead just give up for Lent. What I needed from you were those earth angels who specialize in career services and Human Resources to help me get to the next level professionally. What you gave me was something strikingly familiar to people who played the Grad School Game with you only to find themselves in the same place they were after obtaining their four year degree: still unemployed with no work experience going on speed dates interviews with companies who would rather hire the less educated person who has been around the block job market a few times because that person is easier will take less pay so they, in response, decide to remain in their comfortable place: your house. The advisors I am speaking of often do not distribute the most innovative strategies for obtaining employment nor the most creative career outlooks. I mean, for God’s sake Ed, did all of the dreamers die?

I know what you are probably thinking. “No one is going to just hand you things. You have to work for it because if it were easy, everyone would do it.” Well, Ed, did everyone pay you your beloved tuition bill? Then I’d dare say that you owe us all something, do you not? We both know that I am no stranger to hard work. I used to tell all of my friends about how we have overcome some of my most difficult challenges together. I am now fairly certain that I overcame them IN SPITE of you. You take and you take, my money, my time and my energy and what have I gotten from you but a little note scribbled on a napkin and left on my nightstand that said, “did not your organizations encourage you to network so you can have connections at companies to refer you to recruiters and hiring managers?”

Ed. Are you being serious right now? I am not asking for a handout but I am asking that you hand me what I paid for: an environment that ultimately produces employment more so than the environment I left for you when I graduated from high school.

And I know you are probably thinking: “She’s a millennial. They are all so entitled.” No, Ed. I played your game. I attended your classes, I got exceptional grades, I joined your organizations, I took on leadership roles and I even stomached through your indentured servitude unpaid internships all the while maintaining full time employment to fund your habits. The only thing I did not do was invite your new love into our relationship because, Ed, when it comes to graduate school before employment in my line of work, I have to draw my line in the sand. That dog just won’t hunt.

What I mean to say is that when I purchase a $30 phone charger, I expect it to work and I darn sure expected the same fully functioning return on investment from you. Honey, you were not cheap.

1. Go find the Human Resources, Career Coach, innovative earth angels and among them, only flirt with the dreamers. There are many fish in the sea and you can afford to be a little more selective. Your effective advisors should not be a dime a dozen. They should be the standard.

2. Introduce your lovers to your friends, not just the neighbors and the passers-by. You know more than these local companies that you dangle before us. I’ve heard that you have ex-lovers, with whom you maintain an amicable relationship, that are now prominent members of the professional community. Invite them to your career fairs. Facilitate a relationship between them and your new lovers so that they can guide them into the professional arena. They have something in common: you. So why should you send your new lovers out on the street to solicit strangers on LinkedIn? You have a black book of connections stored in your files. Maximize your resources and share the wealth.

3. Bring something new to the table. What are those first two trial years that you put your lovers through? I think you call them general education requirements and prerequisites? Ed, life is happening. Let’s be as most cost effective and least redundant as possible.

4. Keep up, Ed. By dating younger, you have accepted a personal responsibility to stay abreast of what your younger lovers need and the new environment that they are in. And you must do so in a timely manner.

Ed, I am not mad at you. We knew we would not last forever and you said that when the time came you would help me move on. And though I fear it is too late for us, I am sure you can turn this around for the next lover you sweep off her feet. As for me, it is defining characteristic of my generation to create a space of self-expression and a path towards prosperity where one did not previously exist. Ed, it’s not right, but it’s okay. I’m going to make it anyway.

Anyhow, this letter must come to an end. It is 7:26 and I have an episode of Scandal to catch up on before I return back to the shameless job hunt. I just did not want to walk away from what we had having not told you how I truly felt. Like I said, we had magic together and I am forever indebted for the gifts that came along with being on this roller coaster ride with you. I cannot say, at this time, that I will be sending you monthly or even yearly checks of sponsorship as I know some of your other ex-lovers do. But I am sure that if I ever make headlines for some professional achievement, you will announce to all who will listen that I was once yours and insist that you taught me everything that I know. And I am sure that such an announcement will attract younger, fresher pursuits who will buy your dream without reservation. I only hope that their return on investment does not bring them the sleepless nights, worry and frustration that mine has so graciously brought me.

Again, we will always have the memories. I pray you grow from this letter as I have grown from our time together.
With love,

A Graduating Senior

(photo credit: The Cameron Team)

Shakarra McGuire is a graduating senior at the University of Alabama. Her expertise includes market research, audience analysis, journalism and social and creative strategic marketing. An expanded look at McGuire’s work and experience can be found online at Shakarra.com as well as her LinkedIn account.

Like this post? Connect with Shakarra on Twitter at @ShakarraPR

Tweet